Monday, June 22, 2009

THE WORLDS FUGLIEST FEET

The Worlds Nastiest Feet As Presented By TMZ.COM

Hello boys and girls, I am back. I had a thought about selling the blog but after getting three indications from people who obviously lacked the balls and vision to go through with it, I am back here. Do me a favor, sign up to some of the porn sites I advertise so I can buy myself a decent shirt or at least buy me a cup of coffee once a month (press the BUY ME A CUP OF COFFEE button on the top right).

OK and now to business. TMZ had a foot fetish competition the other day and many people sent their feet pictures. While browsing through some of the atrocities people call feet, I decided that i should show you, the gourmet feet connoisseur what people (mainly brain dead women) consider pretty feet. BEWARE, VOMIT INDUCING PICTURES AHEAD!!!!

EXHIBIT 1 - Clueless fat woman:

Well friends, this beast probably packs a buck 75 or maybe even 2 bucks (175Lbs - 200Lbs). Besides being fat she also has no clue the webbed feet are not pretty. While not as fugly as the rest of the animal organs on this page, still, get a fucking clue! You got webbed feet! hide them!



EXHIBIT 2 - I am suffering from Dementia and I have Octopus toes

This woman actually think her feet are pretty... see the shoes she wore for the glamour shot of this nastiness? I have hard evidence that she tortured a Korean manicurist (aren’t they all Korean?) by forcing her to put French manicure on these hooves. I feel sorry for your man missy, and even sorrier if he has to suck those mangled boney long, semi-webbed toes. BARF!



EXHIBIT 3 - I took an acid bath and forgot all about it.

Well, I don’t know if this woman (could this be a man?) has a medical condition or she took some kind of acid bath that ate her toes away. But one thing I do know, If these were my feet, I would never show them in public. In fact, I call upon the police to issue a warrant for her / his arrest on grounds of disturbing the public (this is disturbing, isn't it?).



EXHIBIT 4 - I am Fat, I have Ugly Toes, I know it but still, let me show them.
Obviously this elephant of a woman decided that besides weighing 300 pounds and making every man on the street hug his wife and thank god that he doesn’t have to sleep with that mountain of fat, she also has to "entertain" the world with the nastiest combination of three toes every seen... by the look of it, she doesn’t have 5 toes! To me she or this is either a new species or an alien species in any case, further investigation must be conducted by the authorities... We cannot have this THING walk around among us.

EXHIBIT 5 - I haven't head sex ever and now my right hand has divorced me.

This better be a man... please god, make this a man. If this is a woman then, I have nothing further to say other than: I am sorry lady, but you must get a sex change operation because you have man feet. If this is a guy, then, DUDE, please feel free to cut off your nasty toes with a knife of a any other cutting appliance. WOW, first these are ugly feet on a good day, but then the fungus just seals the deal. BTW, I took the liberty of ordering a jerk off prostatic for you....(since his right hand divorsed him).
EXHIBIT 6 - I have no money and my face is ugly too (not to mention my feet)

You all know that this woman has an ugly mug... I mean, there is no way something beautiful resides above these disgusting feet. and using whiteout to paint her toes just shows class. Don’t you think?
EXHIBIT 7 - I am fat and stupid

Well, I already talked about webbed toes and fat women in Exhibit one. But this one is so clueless that she actually went and got manicure and painted those sausages pink. LADY, You have webbed toes. Don’t flaunt them, hide them!

EXHIBIT 8 - Its the attack of the skeleton man / woman

OK, first of all, I have no clue if this is a man or a woman, although by the look of the pinky, its a woman. Second of all, WTF is wrong with her to think that these toes are pretty? Boney, ugly and mashed together toes are never pretty. DEATH by closed shoes! These feet should never see daylight in public!
EXHIBIT 9 - The ugly mistress who has no clue she has ugly feet

OK, we all can see that this woman does not know how to paint her toes or that she goes to the blind Korean manicurist on the corner. Secondly, she never saw her friend's feet (unless her friends are exhibits 1 - 8 above) Your second toe from the right is WAY too long and your feet are too narrow. In short, nice touch with the rose, but you FAIL to present pretty feet. Get a fucking clue and NEVER wear open toed shoes!

EXHIBIT 10 - I am out of my mind and want everyone to know it.

WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Is she missing a nail on her left big toe? I mean, I am speechless that this woman even had the courage to paint her own toes. Holly mother of god. Could you imagine the face connected to these feet? I say she is between 300 - 400 pounds and that Bigfoot or Sasquatch actually took her the Junior Prom but then decided that this is too much and is hiding in forests since afraid to take another look at these beauties. Barf bag please....

EXHIBIT 11 - I can make webbed toes look cute!

Guys, before I kill you with the worlds nastiest alien feet I would like to show you a princess!
This woman obviously is aware of her webbed toes and she knows that they are not normal and that she is a freak. BUT, she painted them nice pink, put them on a floor and just gave us a plain look at them. The result is CUTE... I wouldn’t call her feet pretty but she is pulling it off. Good for you!
EXHIBIT 12 - I am an Alien; take me to your leader.

I have nothing to say, even if you add the fifth (and MISSING) toe, these are ugly feet. Why bother painting those toes pink, please, dear god, tell me that this woman doesn’t think she is allowed or has the right by law to show her feet in public.
EXHIBIT 13 - I don’t know what to say.... God has a sense of humor, obviously.

I did not think anyone could top the four toe freak in Exhibit 12 but BAM I found her...

Would you look at this? He fourth toe is coming out from the middle of the foot.... WTF?
She should save all the pedicure money she can and upgrade to the four toe look because these feet are the WORLDS UGLIEST FEET! I would suck fungus infested feet before I would spend a night sleeping next to Mrs. I am an alien and I eat raw flesh here. Please, someone tell me that this is not a real picture and that heavy Photoshop work was done here.

All of the pictures were taken from http://www.tmz.com/ which is an awesome site, you guys should visit it!