Kate Upton

KATE UPTON'S FEET and TOES

Oh how the mighty have fallen! I mean, this blog is called CELEBRITY Toe Jam and now Kate Upton, a nobody, a model that happened to appear in the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue, a person who is such no-celebrity that they Google their own name each and every day just to see what was written about them, is on Celebrity Toe Jam... I better change the name for this post to Models who may make it Toe Jam, just this once.

Anyway the reason I was bringing Ms. Upton to your consideration my freaky readers is simple: Don’t you think that Ms. Upton would serve humanity better as a porn star? I mean, there is nothing exceptional about her looks (well, nothing other than her being superbly HOT!). She doesn’t jump at me as a personality but rather a clothes hanger type model...

Am I alone here????

Oh and about her feet: Standard issue model feet, big feet (as they tend to be tall, those models), long toes but nothing ugly about them. Some of you may even find her feet sexy but as for me, I am bored, really bored by Ms. Upton.

I think I may stop now, I am falling asleep at the keyboard!

Malin Akerman

MALIN AKERMAN'S FEET AND TOES

So what do we have here? I will tell you: the exact opposite of Megan Fox (from the last post). This woman is everything a guy should look for in a woman: Pretty, smart, funny, Talented and not that I know her or anything but from interviews I have seen, she has got a freaky (cool) side to her.

But this is celebrity feet blog so let’s get the ugly truth out in the open: She has webbed toes on her right foot. This used to be a big no-no for me at some point. However, since I have grown as a person (don’t worry I am still a douche...) I tend to skip minor details for the overall picture... so while she does not have the world’s most perfect feet, she will do... more than do... she is everything you freaks should aspire to find in a woman. Now get to jerking off and finish before reading my next hate filled paragraph.

Malin Akerman is everything that old bitch, Carmen Diaz, was supposed to be... however, Carmen chose to get old childless ( a career choice of a bitter cold bitch) and I bet that by the parade of guys who have passed through that meat hole she calls a vagina , she will also get old without a man to love her. I don’t mean she won’t have a man, she is good looking enough to get someone to pound her and in a hormone induced fit that poor sap may even admit his "love" for her... what I meant that she won’t ever have true love. Anyway back to Malin - this woman is a ray of sunshine is every movie she plays in. As a small non-VIP type guy, I think she is what old time movie actresses used to be, awe inspiring.

Bottom line mother fuckers: Malin is great and if you got problems with her feet (justified problems, I must admit), get the fuck over it. I like her and that should be enough for you morons with small dick and deformed vaginas (I know there are women among you) to go on.

Megan Fox

MEGAN FOX'S FEET AND TOES

Oh Megan, how you blew it! I mean you were on top of the world, the new starlet to capture Hollywood's eye (and pretty much every man's desire, even if it was only for a one night stand). But you blew it and not by accident but by hard work. I mean, how stupid can you be? You knew you're not smart, I mean, I am sure you must have known or at least your unemployed boyfriend (now husband) must have known... how come no one told you to shut your trap? Why did you have to say everything that is stupid and provocative? In the name of what? of being seen as a smart person? WTF was going through your peanut brain?

Anyway, nowadays you’re a nobody (I really had to think hard if to even include you in this blog as you are not a celebrity anymore (maybe a Z list celebrity)... but you are a hot piece of ass so I figured, I might as well give my sick readers a reason to wank off to your cute feet.

YES, I said it, you have cute feet! (Although you may want to rethink those red flip-flops I see in almost every second picture in the collection I have)...

So bottom line: You're pretty. You have an issue with your thumbs (what’s up with that?). Your feet are absolutely cute. Your mouth should remain shut from now until eternity. As for your future in the entertainment industry, I got one word for you: PORN!

Kate Hudson

KATE HUDSON'S FEET AND TOES

Hey guys, I know it has been a long time, but the wait is over and I am back with a SUPER post of one of my favorite girls - KATE HUDSON! I just saw her in the unrated DVD release of My Best Friend's Girl which is a side splitting funny movie so rent it!

What can I say about this babe, she is cute, hugable yet a little naughty and definitly in need of a good spanking! (only if she is into it...). I like, very much like, what I see here.

Small boobs (a must for every ass-man, big boobs are so in the way and god forbid you have to grow old with your lady, the boobs become a real mess as she ages), very nice body, and what a cute face.

And now to the most important part (for you, freaks), her feet: I think she has the cutest feet out there. While they are not super sexy, they are definitly cute and come without any major flaws....

Kate, you were just entered into my shortlist.... Oh, and FUCK A-ROD the D-Bag who dates this pretty face for yelling at her for denting his gay-mobile (AKA his SUV).... real men dont bitch because their ride got crushed by their girlfriend! They let her make it up to them AFTER they calm her down and make sure she didnt break her vagina... So Fuck you A-Rod for being a douchbag and for yelling at your too-hot-to-date-you girlfriend and Kate, you can do much better.

Gossip Girls' Blake Lively

BLAKE LIVELY'S FEET AND TOES

I do not have much to say: plain feet for plain girl. I havent watched the show so I do not really know whats her story and if she is a little sex pot or not.

So just enjoy.

Bar Refaeli Feet and Naked Video

BAR REFAELI'S FEET AND NAKED VIDEO!!!!

Freaks, I have to say, if I were into angelic beauty, Bar Refaeli would be my #1 choice. However, I am into the bad girl look so Leo DeCaprio or whomever is rocking this babe's snatch right now, have nothing to worry about.

I do have to say this: WOW... she projects such a clean look.... you almost want to kiss her just for being so beautiful.

I am very impressed. What a tasteful video... If you got a hard-on from it, youre going to hell!